It's Hard to Take a Picture of a Moving Target

One Year Ago

Exactly one year ago, I met Little Bit for the first time. I had been looking at the same three little pictures of her for over 8 months by then, and I had her little face memorized. When I opened the door and saw her in the hall, being held by a nanny, my first thought was, "That's her, but she's just a tiny baby." She was 19 months old. Except for the mouth full of teeth, she could have passed for a 6 month old. I was in awe of her. She was so tiny, but she had this little look on her face like, "Hey, don't mess with me, lady." Tiny, but tough. The first time I held her, she was not as into the moment as I was. In fact, she really just wanted to be done with whatever business brought her to this room so that she could get the heck out of there. She was swimming in a huge orange sweat suit and little blue shoes that some other baby had practically worn the soles off of. I don't remember what I said to the orphanage staff. I was too busy drinking in this amazing little girl. She was just so pitiful – trying to be brave. When I look at the pictures of her from that day, I can't believe it's only been a year. She's come so far in a year. She's learned so much – most importantly, she's learned that Mama is pretty nice, and having a Mama is a very good thing. Last night, we were both still feeling pretty cruddy. Ying was being fussy and just wanted Mama to hold her. I asked her if she was tired. Yes. Do you want to go to bed? No. Do you want to go to bed with Mama? Yes. Do you want Mama to snuggle you? Yes. Then she laid her head over on my shoulder and sighed. 366 days ago, we were strangers. Now, we are a family. What a miracle.

Apparently, I Can

be sick. So much for the power of positive thinking. Day 6 and I am still not feeling great.