Some Days, It Sucks to be Me

Yesterday, I finally drug myself in to see a doctor after a week of trying to convince myself that I just had a cold and it would pass (sinus/ear infection – not going any where without an antibiotic). So, I take my little script and head off to pick up the girls, knowing that we will have to go to the drugstore after dinner.

We get home, and Ying is in the family room crying hysterically. I figure she is hungry and tired, so I take her an apple slice and some juice to hold her over until I finish dinner. I go back in the kitchen, she is still screaming. Five minutes later I realize that she is screaming because she has her finger stuck in the straw hole of a cup. For like 10 minutes, she had her little finger stuck in this lid. I stood right beside her, gave her a snack, and didn’t notice the cup stuck on her hand. I am the world’s worst mother.

I go to look for Blue Bear to comfort her, only to realize that BB is missing. I call the sitter and learn that BB is lying on the street in front of her house. She gets him and sticks him on the mailbox so I can just run by and pick him up.

We eat dinner, and I load the girls into the van for a trip to the drug store and to get BB. Plus, I promise OBaby we will go through the car wash (the girl LOVES the car wash). We drop off the script, and go get BB. Ying is very happy to have her bear back. As we head back toward the car wash, OBaby starts to complain that her head and tummy hurt. I’m thinking she needs to go potty, so I’m not overly worried. We get to the car wash about 7:04 – they closed at 7. Of course they did! So now, OBaby is REALLY crying, and groaning “Oh, my tummy hurts.” I’m thinking I’m getting drama because she didn’t get to go to the car wash. We go get my antibiotics and head home.

At home, I offer to hold OBaby since she feels bad. She is lying across my lap while I rub her back. About 5 minutes later – ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She pukes all over me, her, the chair, the carpet. I get her to the bathroom before round 2 begins. Ug. I get her cleaned up and calmed down and clean up the puke.

Then I remember that it is trash night, so I need to put the trash out. OBaby is on the couch in her underwear whimpering because, like any normal person, she hates to throw up. I gather the trash and promise her I’ll be right back in. Of course, she starts crying because she wants me to sit with her. I go to the garage, and grab the cans thinking that I hope none of my neighbors are out since I’m barefoot and in a dress top and my mauve pajama bottoms with big paisleys on them that are like a foot too short for me. Yes, I’m stylin’!

I get to the curb and realize that YBaby has followed me outside. Ok, that’s fine. Then she takes off down the sidewalk (her favorite game – make Mommy chase me). As I jog after her, I realize that she’s had a blow-out diaper and there is poop running out from under her shorts. Lovely. I grab her, turn around to see a van pulling over to the curb. It’s our elderly neighbors from down the street who just adore the Babies. Great. Anyone else and I could have excused myself with a quick “Baby’s got a dirty diaper”, but not the Nice Little Old Couple! I hate to be rude to them. So, here I stand in front of my neighbor’s house wearing ridiculous pajama pants with a shirt that totally clashes, holding a dirty baby and talking to old people while trying to act like I don’t have a hand full of poop. Ug.

I finally escape back into the house and plop YBaby into the tub. I get her cleaned up, stand her up so I can dry her off and what does she do? Of course, she pees in the tub.

Hey, if all this happened to you in the same night, I know I’d think it was funny. As for me, I was left wondering if you can really cop a buzz off of Scope and cursing the day I gave up drinking.

Glimpse of the Future

My sister sent me this picture of OBaby taken a couple of weeks ago. When I first saw it, all I could see was how grown up she looks. This is the face she is going to have when she is a teenager. I don’t see baby in it at all – just the woman she’s going to be. Where oh where did my bald little baby go?

Under the Knife

Ok, so I haven’t posted in a few days. I’ve been a little preoccupied. Friday, I had a little operation on my foot. Nothing major, I just went into the hospital and had a rather large chunk of something removed from my body. No big deal, right? Well, maybe not for normal people, but for me, yeah, BIG DEAL. First of all, I hadn’t had surgery since my tonsils were removed by Dr. Scissorhands in 1972. That didn’t go so well. I ended up back in the hospital bleeding profusely. My sister did, too – same doctor, same hack job. So, naturally, I’m a little cautious about letting people near me with scalpels. Then, there is the fact that I am a big baby and don’t like pain. So, overall everything went ok. The first IV went horribly wrong and I spent half an hour trying not to hurl or pass out. But, after that I got some happy juice, so nothing else really mattered. In the future, I think I would request the happy juice much earlier in the process. I did manage to win $10 from my surgeon during the surgery. Yeah, you read that right. While I was being operated on, my surgical team was playing musical trivia. I was just lying there, drifting in and out of consciousness, humming along to “Blinded by the Light” (ok, I may have been singing out loud, what do I know? I was loopy.) when I heard someone (found out later it was the surgeon) ask if anyone knew who wrote that song. Oddly enough, I did. Then he said, “$10 if anyone can tell me who wrote that song.” Now, I didn’t know if I could speak, or if anyone could hear me, but I squeaked out “Bruce Springsteen”. I heard the anesthesiologist say, “And the patient says Bruce Springsteen”. I was right. They all cracked up. I really don’t think they expected the patient to be playing the game. So, at my follow-up appointment tomorrow, Dr. D owes me $10. Hey, I figure it’s a small price to pay considering everyone in that room will be telling that story for years! So, when I’m feeling better I’ll post some new pictures of the girls. They are doing great – adjusting nicely to Mommy with the Boo-Boo Foot. O Baby has been a big help, and Y Baby has only stepped on my foot one time. Not bad considering she has adopted her sister’s habit of climbing Mommy like a jungle gym. Oh, yeah, and in case I forgot to mention it, Darvocet ROCKS.

Bathing Beauties

Baby Fish

Peek! a BOO!

Happy 4th of July!!

Freedom From Clutter

Anyone who has visited my house in the last, oh, year (ok, maybe not that long) will understand the significance of this photo. Today, I declared my independence from the mess that was the girls’ room. Man, do I feel better!

42

You say it's your birthday
Well it's my birthday too--yeah
You say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.


In honor of my 42nd birthday, I am going to share with you 42 things about me. (Don’t worry, mom, this is a family-friendly blog.)

1. My mom had planned on naming me Malinda.
2. She almost died when I was born. (Had nothing to do with the whole Malinda thing.)
3. I was actually named after my aunt who O Baby calls “Aunt Donna Cake”.
4. I attend Weir Elementary School. And Wilbur Wright Elementary School. And Cadiz Elementary School. And Parker Elementary School. And I should have attended Riley Elementary School, but I got bussed back to Parker.
5. When I was in sixth grade, I was the tallest person in the whole school except for the other sixth grade teacher, Mr. Bouslog. Any wonder why I loved Mr. Bouslog?
6. I used to be a Rainbow Girl.
7. I spent four years in college with absolutely no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up.
8. I did know how to have a lot of fun in college.
9. My senior year I lived in a house with a bunch of my sorority sisters.
10. It was known on campus as the “Sugar Shack”.
11. And yet some how I still managed to graduate from my university’s Honors College.
12. I served in the US Navy for four years.
13. I lived in England for two of those years.
14. In England, I shared an apartment with MB whose mom lived next door to a girl I lived with in college.
15. We didn’t know that until we had been living together for a few months.
16. I once saw the “Pirates of Penzance” at the amphitheatre in Penzance.
17. I actually played on a women’s softball team once. We played in one tournament and never scored a run.
18. I spent 3 months on an island in the Aleutians – twice.
19. I have been to 24 of the United States and the District of Columbia.
20. Outside of the US, I’ve only been to England, Spain, Mexico, Jamaica and China.
21. I almost married the absolutely wrong guy once for absolutely all of the wrong reasons.
22. I haven’t spoken to him in about 15 years.
23. My first job out of the Navy was as a technical editor for a government contractor.
24. I was their second choice for the job.
25. I met my mentor while I was working there (I always teased him that he was like a grandpa to me).
26. He and I worked together at 3 other companies after that.
27. He died one week before O Baby was born.
28. I once had to perform CPR on the man I thought I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with.
29. He didn’t survive.
30. I did.
31. I went back to college at age 34 and got my master’s degree.
32. I visited a web site once for a hotel in the Outer Banks, and ended up reading all about the owners’ two daughters adopted from China.
33. I first told my family I was adopting from China on vacation at Atlantic Beach in 2001.
34. In 2002, I moved from beautiful Virginia Beach back to the Midwest.
35. I couldn’t afford to buy a crappy house in the worst part of Virginia Beach now (not that I’ve been looking or anything).
36. Adopting O Baby was the greatest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
37. I can say this, because if I hadn’t adopted O Baby, I would never have gone back for Y Baby.
38. Adopting Y Baby was the second greatest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
39. If I could, I would adopt one more child.
40. I’d have to win the lottery first.
41. I don’t play the lottery.
42. I still think I’m going to win some day.