How many times do I need to say I want her?

Apparently, the magic number is 4. That’s how many times the CCAA wants me to tell them that I want to adopt QiuYing. First, I wrote a letter of intent which outlined how I would care for her. Then, I sent a letter with my dossier asking specifically to adopt QiuYing. Then, in the home study, there was a whole section about how I want to adopt QiuYing. So, that’s 3 times that I specially asked the CCAA if I could please adopt QiuYing. Now, they’ve decided that I need to sign a form that says yes, I still want to adopt Qiu Ying – for the forth time. My agency received the form last week. It’s so annoying, because what they should have received was my travel approval so that I could leave in the next couple of weeks. Instead, I get this new form that is going to further delay my travel approval, and because the Chinese New Year falls on February 18th this year, I probably won’t travel before March. Yeah, I’m frustrated. I hate the fact that my daughter is living in an orphanage instead of her own home. I hate the fact that she is learning to walk and talk without me there to see it. Most of all I hate knowing that she is stuck in a place where, because the orphanage is very poor, she isn’t getting proper care or nutrition. You try going to sleep every night knowing that your baby is cold and hungry. It sucks. And all I can do is sign the stinkin’ form, and wait. And wait. And wait. 189 days now since my agency first said I could adopt QiuYing. And still we wait.