Some Days, It Sucks to be Me

Yesterday, I finally drug myself in to see a doctor after a week of trying to convince myself that I just had a cold and it would pass (sinus/ear infection – not going any where without an antibiotic). So, I take my little script and head off to pick up the girls, knowing that we will have to go to the drugstore after dinner.

We get home, and Ying is in the family room crying hysterically. I figure she is hungry and tired, so I take her an apple slice and some juice to hold her over until I finish dinner. I go back in the kitchen, she is still screaming. Five minutes later I realize that she is screaming because she has her finger stuck in the straw hole of a cup. For like 10 minutes, she had her little finger stuck in this lid. I stood right beside her, gave her a snack, and didn’t notice the cup stuck on her hand. I am the world’s worst mother.

I go to look for Blue Bear to comfort her, only to realize that BB is missing. I call the sitter and learn that BB is lying on the street in front of her house. She gets him and sticks him on the mailbox so I can just run by and pick him up.

We eat dinner, and I load the girls into the van for a trip to the drug store and to get BB. Plus, I promise OBaby we will go through the car wash (the girl LOVES the car wash). We drop off the script, and go get BB. Ying is very happy to have her bear back. As we head back toward the car wash, OBaby starts to complain that her head and tummy hurt. I’m thinking she needs to go potty, so I’m not overly worried. We get to the car wash about 7:04 – they closed at 7. Of course they did! So now, OBaby is REALLY crying, and groaning “Oh, my tummy hurts.” I’m thinking I’m getting drama because she didn’t get to go to the car wash. We go get my antibiotics and head home.

At home, I offer to hold OBaby since she feels bad. She is lying across my lap while I rub her back. About 5 minutes later – ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She pukes all over me, her, the chair, the carpet. I get her to the bathroom before round 2 begins. Ug. I get her cleaned up and calmed down and clean up the puke.

Then I remember that it is trash night, so I need to put the trash out. OBaby is on the couch in her underwear whimpering because, like any normal person, she hates to throw up. I gather the trash and promise her I’ll be right back in. Of course, she starts crying because she wants me to sit with her. I go to the garage, and grab the cans thinking that I hope none of my neighbors are out since I’m barefoot and in a dress top and my mauve pajama bottoms with big paisleys on them that are like a foot too short for me. Yes, I’m stylin’!

I get to the curb and realize that YBaby has followed me outside. Ok, that’s fine. Then she takes off down the sidewalk (her favorite game – make Mommy chase me). As I jog after her, I realize that she’s had a blow-out diaper and there is poop running out from under her shorts. Lovely. I grab her, turn around to see a van pulling over to the curb. It’s our elderly neighbors from down the street who just adore the Babies. Great. Anyone else and I could have excused myself with a quick “Baby’s got a dirty diaper”, but not the Nice Little Old Couple! I hate to be rude to them. So, here I stand in front of my neighbor’s house wearing ridiculous pajama pants with a shirt that totally clashes, holding a dirty baby and talking to old people while trying to act like I don’t have a hand full of poop. Ug.

I finally escape back into the house and plop YBaby into the tub. I get her cleaned up, stand her up so I can dry her off and what does she do? Of course, she pees in the tub.

Hey, if all this happened to you in the same night, I know I’d think it was funny. As for me, I was left wondering if you can really cop a buzz off of Scope and cursing the day I gave up drinking.