IT'S HHHHHEEEEERRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE!!!!!

Don’t ask me how, but our TA (travel approval) actually arrived TODAY! 106 days after my dossier was logged into the CCAA, they have finally invited me to come get Qiu Ying! My agency can now ask for a consulate appointment, and in a few days I should know when I’ll be going to China (right now it looks like about a month from now).

The TA is in the Mail

Or so they say. Someone from the agency spoke to someone at the CCAA who says that our TA was mailed from China today (like sometime in the past 12 hours). So, if this is true, we should actually have travel approval by the end of this week. Once we have travel approval, then we wait again – this time for a consulate appointment. You can’t schedule a consulate appointment without a TA, and you can’t go get your child without a consulate appointment. Of course, the consulate in also in China, which means that if we get our TA on Friday, it will already be the weekend there, so we’ll have to wait until Monday for them to even get our request. Once we have a consulate appointment, then we can actually start planning our trip (you know, like buying airline tickets). Ack! China adoption is so not for the faint of heart!

I Used to Love Roller Coasters

Once, Bill and I went to Busch Gardens Williamsburg on a weekday while kids were still in school. The park was pretty empty, so most of the rides had no lines. When we rode our favorite roller coaster, the Lock Ness Monster, the kid running it said that as long as no one was waiting in line, we could keep riding as long as we wanted. After about the 5th trip, I finally had to say “uncle” and climb off the ride. (Bill made it through two more times.) When I got off, my stomach was churning and my head felt like I’d been hit with a hammer. The ride I loved so much, taken in large doses, was more than I could handle.

My life right now is starting to feel a lot like that roller coaster ride. Each morning I wake up with hope in my heart that this could be the day,

CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, keep your hands and feet inside the car folks, here we go. UP! UP! UP!

This could be the day.
This could be the day.
This could be the day.

All day long, I walk around with the tension/excitement/stress building.

All evening, I wait for the phone to ring. Woe unto the poor soul who dares to call me while I’m waiting for “the call”. I told some poor girl soliciting for my alma mater to please leave me alone, “I’m waiting for a very important call, and you’re tying up my line.” Yes, I do have call waiting, thank you very much, but I don’t want to take ANY chances on missing the call!

Then finally, about 9 pm, I check my email to see if I’ve received the “sorry, no mail today” message from Stefani. SSSWWWOOOOOOSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. There we go, down to the very bottom again.

No TA today.
No TA today.
No TA today.

The emotional roller coaster of waiting and hoping and praying for word that I can bring my daughter home has the same physical effects as the Lock Nest Monster – my stomach keeps churning like a cement mixer, and I feel like someone’s been using my head for batting practice.

But you know what, this time, I can’t get off the ride. Not until I hear those magic words – you’ve got TA!

Soon? Please?

Daughter Near/Daughter Far

This morning Olivia and I were snuggling and talking (her very effective way of trying to delay having to actually get out of bed). She told me, “I love having a mommy.” It made me cry. It made me cry because I know that Shi Qiu Ying is going to love having a mommy, too – and a big sister. She is going to love being safe, and warm, and fed, and adored. She is going to love being part of a family. And her family is going to love her, too. Well, we already do – we love that sweet cheeked little baby whose picture we look at every day. We love the idea of her. Man, are we ready to love the reality.

What I Know About Elizabeth

Shi Cheng SWI

Not a lot, actually. I know she is living in a social welfare institute in Shi Cheng. County Shi Cheng County is a rural, mountainous region in the south eastern part of Jiangxi province. Most of the families in the area are farmers.

And, I know what the person who wrote her growth report had to say about her:


When she was 3 month old, her legs were quite strong and she could hold her little head smiled sweetly. When she was hungry or sleepy she could ask for care giver to hold her. When she was 4 month old, she could turn her head to find the root of sound if some one called her name and made sound which seemed that she talked to herself. When she was 5 months old, QiuYing could roll over freely and raise her head. When she was happy, she would play with her little hands and she could catch toys. When she was 6 months old, she could sit alone for a while. When other children played she would react excited and wanted to join in. Now she is 7 months old. Though she is not fat or fair, she looks bouncy. Her hair is bushy. She has long eyelashes and beautiful eyes. Her eyes are small, so when she smiles the eyes would turn into a line. People give her nick name “little eyes”, and when she hears the name, she smiles more happily.
QiuYing is an active girl and likes playing with other children, listening to music, noisy place to play, being touch on her face, being called “little eyes”.


You may have notice the part about “now she is 7 months old”. Yeah, well, now she is 17 months old, and I haven’t heard anything new about her since this report was written. Because of the remote location, no one ever visits Shi Cheng. I haven’t been able to receive any updated photos or reports. I just keeping hoping that she is doing ok and developing normally. Most of all, I hope she will be in my arms soon.

The Analytical Skills of an Almost 4 Year Old

She’s a genius, I’m telling ya. The girl is just always thinking. Olivia was watching her new favorite movie. Two groups of rival girls are talking before a competition, and one snooty girl says to the nice girls, “Don’t worry. I’ll let you all take a picture with our trophy.”

O’s response – “A trophy is not a camera.”

I see law school in our future.

Attitude of Entitlement

Lately, I been kind of annoyed with this attitude I’ve notice among people waiting to adopt from China. They act like they’ve ordered a baby from the baby store, and they are irritated that the item isn’t ready to be shipped yet. It results in a lot of bad-mouthing of the Chinese government and how they run their adoption process. Yeah, it was really starting to get on my nerves. Until I realized that I am actually one of “them”.

I’ve been acting pretty entitled myself here lately. I’ve been whining and complaining about the screwy process for sending out TAs. Yes, it is frustrating, and yes, I do want to bring QiuYing home as soon as possible. I tell myself that I’m just worried about MY daughter. But, see, the thing is, technically, she isn’t my daughter – yet. Right now, she is still Shi QiuYing, ward of the ShiCheng County Social Welfare Institute. She is their child, not mine. As much as I may love her, she won’t really be MY daughter until I sit in that office at the civil affairs office and promise to never abandon or abuse her. She is a daughter of China, and they don’t have to let me adopt her. If they do, it will be a privilege – not a right I earned by paying the fees and waiting my turn.

See, China owes me nothing. In fact, I owe them. After all, they let me leave the county once already with one of their greatest national treasures.

Not That It Means Anything, but . . .

Someone whose SC form was Fed Exed back to the CCAA on Friday got her TA today. Yes, today. Now, it could be a fluke. It could be, well I don’t know what it could be. I’m trying not to get too excited, but maybe, just maybe Elizabeth will be coming home soon! Can I getta “AMEN!”?

Ball's Back in Their Court

Well, our new form arrived at the CCAA at 10:03 this morning. All they have to do now is sign my TA and stick it in the mail. Really, that's it. Sign it, mail it. DO IT! NOW!!!! Send my baby home, please. Really, is it too much to ask?

How many times do I need to say I want her?

Apparently, the magic number is 4. That’s how many times the CCAA wants me to tell them that I want to adopt QiuYing. First, I wrote a letter of intent which outlined how I would care for her. Then, I sent a letter with my dossier asking specifically to adopt QiuYing. Then, in the home study, there was a whole section about how I want to adopt QiuYing. So, that’s 3 times that I specially asked the CCAA if I could please adopt QiuYing. Now, they’ve decided that I need to sign a form that says yes, I still want to adopt Qiu Ying – for the forth time. My agency received the form last week. It’s so annoying, because what they should have received was my travel approval so that I could leave in the next couple of weeks. Instead, I get this new form that is going to further delay my travel approval, and because the Chinese New Year falls on February 18th this year, I probably won’t travel before March. Yeah, I’m frustrated. I hate the fact that my daughter is living in an orphanage instead of her own home. I hate the fact that she is learning to walk and talk without me there to see it. Most of all I hate knowing that she is stuck in a place where, because the orphanage is very poor, she isn’t getting proper care or nutrition. You try going to sleep every night knowing that your baby is cold and hungry. It sucks. And all I can do is sign the stinkin’ form, and wait. And wait. And wait. 189 days now since my agency first said I could adopt QiuYing. And still we wait.

Why Mommies Love Christmas